I Was the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from the Arnold Schwarzenegger Comedy: A Look Back.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is best known as an Hollywood heavyweight. But, during the peak of his blockbuster fame in the 1980s and 1990s, he also headlined several surprisingly great comedies. Chief among them is Kindergarten Cop, which celebrates its 35th anniversary this December.

The Story and The Famous Scene

In the hit comedy, Schwarzenegger portrays a hardened detective who goes undercover as a kindergarten teacher to catch a killer. Throughout the movie, the investigation plot serves as a basic structure for Schwarzenegger to film humorous moments with his young class. Arguably the most famous features a little boy named Joseph, who spontaneously rises and declares the stoic star, “Boys have a penis, and girls get a vagina.” The Terminator replies icily, “I appreciate the insight.”

The boy behind the line was brought to life by former young actor Miko Hughes. Beyond this role encompassed a character arc on Full House as the bully to the child stars and the haunting part of the resurrected boy in the film version of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He continues to act today, with several projects on the horizon. He also engages with fans at fan conventions. Not long ago recalled his experiences from the filming of the classic 35 years later.

A Young Actor's Perspective

Q: To begin, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: My understanding is I was four. I was the most junior of all the kids on set.

Wow, I have no memory from being four. Do you have any memories from that time?

Yeah, somewhat. They're brief images. They're like visual recollections.

Do you recall how you were cast in Kindergarten Cop?

My family, especially my mother would bring me to auditions. Often it was a mass tryout. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all simply wait around, go into the room, be in there less than five minutes, read a small part they wanted and that was it. My parents would help me learn the words and then, once I learned to read, that was some of the first material I was reading.

Do you have an impression of meeting Arnold? What was your impression of him?

He was very kind. He was enjoyable. He was pleasant, which arguably stands to reason. It would have been odd if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom, that probably wouldn't make for a positive atmosphere. He was fun to be around.

“It would be strange if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom.”

I was aware he was a big action star because that's what my parents told me, but I had never really seen his movies. I knew the air around him — like, that's cool — but he wasn't scary to me. He was just fun and I only wanted to hang out with him when he wasn't busy. He was occupied, of course, but he'd occasionally joke around here and there, and we would cling to his muscles. He'd show his strength and we'd be hanging off. He was incredibly giving. He bought every kid in the classroom a personal stereo, which at the time was a major status symbol. That was the hottest tech out there, that distinctive classic yellow cassette player. I used to rock out to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for ages on that thing. It wore out in time. I also have a authentic coach's whistle. He had the referee's whistle, and the kids all were gifted copies as well.

Do you remember your days on set as being positive?

You know, it's interesting, that movie is such a landmark. It was a huge film, and it was an incredible opportunity, and you would think, in retrospect, I would want my memories to be of collaborating with Schwarzenegger, working with [director] Ivan Reitman, visiting Astoria, being on a professional set, but my memories are of being a finitely child at lunch. Like, they got everyone pizza, but I wasn't a pizza fan. All I would eat was the toppings only. Then, the original Game Boy was brand new. That was the hot thing, and I was quite skilled. I was the smallest kid and some of the bigger kids would bring me their Game Boys to beat difficult stages on games because I could do it, and I was quite pleased with myself. So, it's all little kid memories.

The Infamous Moment

OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember how it happened? Did you understand the words?

At the time, I probably didn't know what the word provocative meant, but I realized it got a reaction and it made adults laugh. I understood it was kind of something I shouldn't normally say, but I was given special permission in this case because it was comedic.

“My mom thought hard about it.”

How it originated, according to family lore, was they didn't have specific roles. Certain bits of dialogue were established early on, but once they had the entire ensemble assembled, it wasn't pure improvisation, but they developed it during shooting and, reportedly it's either the director or producers came to my mom and said, "We have an idea. We want Miko to have this line. Are you okay with this?" My mom paused. She said, "Let me think about it, let me sleep on it" and took a short while. She deliberated carefully. She said she wasn't sure, but she felt it would likely become one of the iconic quotes from the movie and she was right.